My last post title is so funny looking back at it. I’m back? HAH.
I just check to see when I last posted and the time stamp says AUGUST 2017.
THAT’S A YEAR AND FOUR MONTHS SINCE MY LAST POST.
I’d apologize for not writing more, but the truth is, I’m not. I’ve been out living a little instead of writing. However, I am sorry if reading my blog was something you regularly enjoyed reading (hi mom).
Since it’s been such a long time, let me bring you up to speed on my life:
- I’m a super senior in college getting ready to graduate in May (No. I don’t have a plan yet. Please don’t ask.)
- I’ve stage-managed three productions, house managed for two, artistic directed a Fringe Festival, assistant directed for a main stage production and created my first lighting design.
- I have a billion things on my to do list before the end of the semester.
- Number three is a lie, but I still have a lot on my list.
- I took a spring break trip to Colorado it was life changing.
- I performed for the first time in two years this summer and it was my own writing.
- I’ve had five or six oncology appointments since the last time we’ve chatted and I am better than ever. My oncologist told me in my last appointment that it was like the cancer wasn’t there in the first place.
- I can put my hair into a half pony tail now!
- I am working in the scene shop at my university and it is by far the best job I’ve ever had.
- I had to put down two of my doggos this past month, so I’ve been pretty sad. But they’re in a better place so it’s okay.
- I’ll be getting to work as a Props Artisan on a professional show in January.
And this is just a small version of what I’ve done in the last year and a half. There have been really big ups and downs across the board, but that’s just life. My time has been filled to the brim and since this blog is something I do for fun, there hasn’t been any time for it.
I didn’t realize how much time I had to myself to be creative when I was undergoing treatment. I had time to heal, write and be creative as I could in my waking hours. However, the real world doesn’t work like that. You don’t always get that kind of time to pause and reflect. Even now, I don’t have time. I have four projects and a show I should be working on, but I wanted to give myself a moment to pause and talk with you.
I’m okay with being busy. I’d rather not have time. When I was undergoing treatment, it was like my whole life was on pause and the only way to make it move forward was if I filled it with something because I was forced to stop doing all the things I loved. It was infuriating to say the least.
And because I wasn’t doing anything, I saw the world was still moving without me. It was hard to watch. I felt like I wasn’t needed. I know I’m wanted, but I felt as though I wasn’t needed and that was one of the most difficult sensations to overcome. But my dad reminded me of something that his teacher once asked him:
What are all the things you want to accomplish in your time on this earth?
Of course I have a list for that: write a play, direct, love, explore, travel, do all the other things every blogger on this platform talks about.
But then my dad’s teacher asked another question:
What would this world be missing without you in it?
The cynic in me says nothing would be missing. The world would keep moving as it does and eventually someone else would come up with whatever I created or contributed to society.
But that’s not true. If I weren’t here, the world would be missing an optimist. A writer. A lover. A friend. A sister. An explorer. And everything I am to become. Look at what I’ve done in the last 22 years alone! Who knows what I can do next! Without me in the world, we would never know! That’s one “What If” I don’t want to live with.
So now my life has been un-paused and it feels like it’s fast forwarding to make up for lost time. And I have a lot left to do. Get ready!
I’m hoping to write a little more than before, but I can’t guarantee anything. If it’s been a while, just know that I’m out living to bring back stories for you!
Thank you for waiting for me to live a little.
Until Next Time,