Tag: adult

I Stopped Counting Calories

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For the entirety of my life I’m pretty sure I’ve been on a diet of some kind. That or denying that the food I was putting in my body was causing turbulence. THAT or I just didn’t care about it all and pretended that none of it mattered.

Then, a year ago I had fainted in a public area with thousands of people at an event. It was just me and my partner and we were in the thick of the moment and I just dropped to the ground as I was trying desperately to get out there. I maintained enough consciousness to get out and get back up after the collapse but it was in that moment I knew I needed to take better care of myself. The first place I started was my plate.

I kept track of macros, calories and the works. And for a long while, it really worked! I could see my clothes getting bigger, my frame getting smaller. I was feeling a little better because I was getting the nutrients I needed. It was good. The trick is that no one tells you how all-consuming calorie tracking can be.

Now, let me say this first: I am not a professional. I am a person. This is just my personal perspective and relationship with calorie counting. For some, calorie tracking can really work and be no additional negative effects. I love those TikTok’s of those fitness girls crushing their protein goals and measuring stuff out for the week. I love getting to see those people rocking that lifestyle!

But I am not one of them. I simply can’t be. My brain gets too obsessive and then everyone goes home cranky because I didn’t feed my brain enough and get snippy. No one is happy, including the body I was trying to take care of.

So why keep doing it? I didn’t. I learned a lot about portion control and listening to my body’s need versus wants in that time so I’ve been able to carry that over to now. I think a more intuitive approach is beneficial for me because it’s less restrictive- I don’t limit food choices. I don’t put limits on types of foods, good or bad. I eat and when I’m done, my body gives me the heads up.

There’s always something that works for everyone. Each body is different and you need to find what works for you. Have you?

Until Next Time,

Dana

Your Definition of Failure Doesn’t Matter to Me.

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If your first job after college doesn’t pertain to your degree you just received, you have failed. If you don’t get that promotion at work, you have failed. If you didn’t accomplish everything on your three page to do list at work AND at home AND at that extra-curricular activity you do to get out of the house so you don’t become a hermit for life, you have FAILED. Everyone is going to talk about you. Everyone is going to talk. The fact that you’re not posting an update on Facebook on that job you tried for that you said you really really loved shows that you didn’t get it and now everyone is judging you. You. Are. Failing.

Can you feel your levels of anxiety increasing while reading that? Can you feel your own self disappointment rising in an upward trajectory that is currently competing with the height of Mt. Everest?

If it’s not? Well, you’re doing better than the rest of us. Because the fact of the matter is that there are a lot of us out there that feel the pressure of the outside universe to perform with a level of perfection that is unattainable. And even though we know it’s unattainable, we still try to please everyone. Sometimes even when it’s something we don’t want.

But you want to know something else? There are not bunches of people out there watching you fail either. More likely than not, they’re waiting to celebrate your successes. If they are waiting for you to fail, then I’m not sure they’re worth sharing successes with.

For a really long time, I believed I was constantly failing and that the culmination of those failures would amount to nothingness in my life. But the more I exist and learn, the more I see that failure is more like a course correction rather than a shipwreck.

If I take a look at where I was and where I thought I was going ten years ago versus where I am now?I was supposed to be a super successful director with two books written and a secluded house in the woods. I was supposed to not have to think about money by now and attend major events and create a non profit. By these standards I have failed tremendously because I have not achieved a single one.

And the me today is proud of it! Why? Because I have a stable job that lets me leave work at work with flexible hours and good benefits. Because I live with my partner who loves me like I’ve never experienced love before. Because the roof over my head is stable and there’s food on my table. Because my hobbies bring me joy and I get to share that with others. You see, my perspective on fulfillment and success has changed. My fulfillment is not sourced from work- it’s sourced from life, from love, from experience. If I can only be fulfilled by checking off boxes on a list, then I’ll never see what’s outside that list.

I guess what I’m getting at in my musings today is that it’s okay to change. It’s okay for perspective to change and for what to matter in your life to change. It’s okay to need the rigidity of a list to keep you on track towards a major goal if that’s what makes you happy. It’s also okay to let it go and see where the world takes you.

The important thing is that you set those definitions yourself and not to let others define them for you. Then they aren’t your goals you’re after. And then it has become not your life.

What are you after? What are your goals? Take time to reflect on that over your morning coffee and your own musings. Taking that time for yourself is important. I hope you have a great day!

Until Next Time,

Dana

The Best Company at Unicorn City

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After living in a dorm with 400 other people for two and half years, I’ve learned to appreciate alone time. Today is the first day in well over a month that I’ve had completely to myself. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very much an extrovert. I love people and spending time with them. This past week was very exciting because I had so many people come over to the Unicorn City. (Fun fact: for those that don’t know, my apartment is also called Unicorn City because I own a clan of unicorn stuffed animals. And yes, they’re all named thank you very much.)

I love visiting with people and it’s always good fun when they come over, but there is something really sweet about having a day to myself. It gives me a chance to recharge and do all the things I can’t do when company is over: watch my favorite shows, eat mac and cheese from the pan, doing the dishes and, of course, sleeping. On days to myself I will stay in bed way past a socially acceptable time to be in bed. But hey! I’m alone! There’s no one here to judge. Except for Milo, but he’s my fish. He won’t tell on me.

It’s really important to be able live with others, but a lesson that a lot of parents forget to teach being able to live with yourself. I mean, people come and go but you are stuck with you. Forever. And if you don’t like yourself, that’s a big problem.

Now hold up. You’re probably thinking, “Dana is saying that if I don’t like me, I need to change everything about me.” NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. I’m sure that you’re a lovely person and chances are I’d like you if I met you (hi, by the way). However, if you don’t like yourself, I encourage you to change how you think about yourself. Instead of viewing yourself in a negative light, try something more positive.

Currently, for me, I have a really hard time accepting my body. It’s not as strong as it used to be a couple months ago and my body is what limits me from performing at 100%. But you know what? My body is mine. It’s beautiful. It may be annoying at times, but it’s healing. And I can live with that and love my body for what it is and what it will become.

Being alone can be hard because it is closely related to the world of loneliness. But being alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely. Be your best company you’ve had over at your home. I know I’m my best company!

 

Until next time,

Dana