Category: Life Updates

Want to stay up to date with what I’ve been up to and where I’ve been? This is the section for you!

Sunday Musings From Bed

Leave a comment

I think it’s okay to be busy every once in a while. I used to (and still) struggle with having a loaded schedule because it felt like I wasn’t getting enough down time. But looking back, I don’t think it was because was the lack of down time. My days were filled with things I didn’t really want to do and that takes a toll on your mental health in ways you don’t see until the compound effect takes over.

See, when you’re in college, it’s not just classes and then home. You have homework and exams and other tasks to do. It’s expected you practice the things you’re trying to become an expert in (or a torture device-the perspective is yours to decide). And let’s be honest- all those extra tasks? They’re usually terrible and tedious.

However, there does come a point where that period of time ends and you get to decide what you’re filling your time with. I used to work in a job where it sucked all my brain power and I felt like I couldn’t do anything on the weekends. Going from constantly studying in school to constantly working at my job left me without a drop of energy to myself.

But that wasn’t really true, I just didn’t know what I wanted to be doing. I thought it was only rest and recovery. The first few weeks of doing nothing was great, but after a couple weekends? I needed more.

I have so much more time than I did before and so do you! You have a few more dollars in your pocket (hopefully) and a lot of extra free time. So why not fill it with what you’d like? Some weekends it could be that show you love to binge and others, it’s a concert and a great dinner! You have some space to choose now what flows back into your cup to bring you energy and new life.

I’m not saying be busy every second of every day. I think we’d all crash and burn if we did that. I mean taking a summer weekend and doing things the whole weekend with people you love. My partner and I went to a Brewer’s game yesterday and today I’m meeting up with my mom to see the latest Marvel movie! And it doesn’t stop there- I want to go get a lovely walk in and journal and enjoy the beautiful day we’re having on this Sunday.

I guess what I’m saying is that life is calling. Make it yours as much as you can. Work can soak up so much of our lives, but why not take that personal time and really own it? I am! I hope you do too and have a fantastic Sunday!

Until Next Time,

Dana

Your Definition of Failure Doesn’t Matter to Me.

Leave a comment

If your first job after college doesn’t pertain to your degree you just received, you have failed. If you don’t get that promotion at work, you have failed. If you didn’t accomplish everything on your three page to do list at work AND at home AND at that extra-curricular activity you do to get out of the house so you don’t become a hermit for life, you have FAILED. Everyone is going to talk about you. Everyone is going to talk. The fact that you’re not posting an update on Facebook on that job you tried for that you said you really really loved shows that you didn’t get it and now everyone is judging you. You. Are. Failing.

Can you feel your levels of anxiety increasing while reading that? Can you feel your own self disappointment rising in an upward trajectory that is currently competing with the height of Mt. Everest?

If it’s not? Well, you’re doing better than the rest of us. Because the fact of the matter is that there are a lot of us out there that feel the pressure of the outside universe to perform with a level of perfection that is unattainable. And even though we know it’s unattainable, we still try to please everyone. Sometimes even when it’s something we don’t want.

But you want to know something else? There are not bunches of people out there watching you fail either. More likely than not, they’re waiting to celebrate your successes. If they are waiting for you to fail, then I’m not sure they’re worth sharing successes with.

For a really long time, I believed I was constantly failing and that the culmination of those failures would amount to nothingness in my life. But the more I exist and learn, the more I see that failure is more like a course correction rather than a shipwreck.

If I take a look at where I was and where I thought I was going ten years ago versus where I am now?I was supposed to be a super successful director with two books written and a secluded house in the woods. I was supposed to not have to think about money by now and attend major events and create a non profit. By these standards I have failed tremendously because I have not achieved a single one.

And the me today is proud of it! Why? Because I have a stable job that lets me leave work at work with flexible hours and good benefits. Because I live with my partner who loves me like I’ve never experienced love before. Because the roof over my head is stable and there’s food on my table. Because my hobbies bring me joy and I get to share that with others. You see, my perspective on fulfillment and success has changed. My fulfillment is not sourced from work- it’s sourced from life, from love, from experience. If I can only be fulfilled by checking off boxes on a list, then I’ll never see what’s outside that list.

I guess what I’m getting at in my musings today is that it’s okay to change. It’s okay for perspective to change and for what to matter in your life to change. It’s okay to need the rigidity of a list to keep you on track towards a major goal if that’s what makes you happy. It’s also okay to let it go and see where the world takes you.

The important thing is that you set those definitions yourself and not to let others define them for you. Then they aren’t your goals you’re after. And then it has become not your life.

What are you after? What are your goals? Take time to reflect on that over your morning coffee and your own musings. Taking that time for yourself is important. I hope you have a great day!

Until Next Time,

Dana

Decluttering Doesn’t Have to be Hard

Leave a comment

So we’ve all seen those beautiful homes where everything has a place. It’s cozy and warm and delightful. My secret to you about those homes is this- there is absolutely a closet of thing chaotically filled to the brim somewhere in that house, hidden from sight.

For those in the United States, we live in consumerism and materialistic tendencies. The sizes of families have gone down but the size of homes have increased. Long story short- it’s hard to get a handle on our houses!

I first learned about Minimalism when I was in college. I was watching a YoutTuber named Matt DeAvella. He talked about using minimalist lifestyle to simplify he day to day life, clothing, even his budgeting so he could pay off his student debt in less than ten years. Since then I was hooked on the idea! But it takes more than just liking an idea for it to work.

However, flash forward three years and I’m living with my boyfriend who does not live this lifestyle at all. So how do you cope? How do you declutter when it’s his things? I have a few tips on that:

I took on a 30 day decluttering challenge where on the first day you decluttering one item. Then the second day, two items. This goes on until you hit 30 days or you tap out because you’re out of items. Personally, I never saw the 30th day, but I did get the amount of things in my home reduced significantly and I maintained it for the most part. Per the Marie Alonso method. All of the items in my home bring me significant joy and light. In fact, I was able to move all my items into a small studio apartment without needing to reduce any personal items (with the exception of a kitchen table.)

Ask about the item

Do you see that old magazine or broken glass that’s just existing but you’re not sure why? Keep your communication aboutz as it open and see if it’s something that they still want to keep. And if they do? Respect that! It brings them joy so why would you remove that?

Not one of these things are mine, but don’t worry! We will find a good home for them soon!

Declutter Your Things Too

You can always see someone else’s mess from a mile away, but have you checked your own closet lately? Or that junk drawer? Or cleaned up your mail pile? Focusing on your items is important. Besides, by decluttering your items, you inspire your partner to do the same.

One Item a Day

My partner has never been and will never be focused on clutter or having a super tidy home. And that’s okay! But I am and we agree that we need to meet in the middle on this issue. So our solution is this:

One item to declutter a day. Whether it’s being thrown away, donated, sold, whatever! It’s one item a day. We don’t purchase a lot of excess things so when it comes to decluttering, the one item rule works for us because the ratio of items being declutter Ed is higher than the items entering our home.

And always, always, ALWAYS ask about it first if it doesn’t belong to you!

Decluttering can be helpful or extremely overwhelming depending on the person. Never be afraid to go at your pace! You deserve to live in a home that brings you nothing but peace and joy. Hopefully decluttering some of the misc items that you no longer care about can help.

Until Next Time,

Dana